Answered: Does My Kid Have Depression?
If you clicked on this blog post, then you likely asked yourself recently, “Does my kid have depression?”
Unfortunately, the answer to such a question is often complicated. Depression and mental illness do affect children. Some of the symptoms are the same as the symptoms adults deal with. However, depression may express itself differently in children compared to adults.
The best thing to do is to understand the symptoms of depression. Once you have an understanding of what depression can look like, then you can evaluate your child’s behavior.
That said, only a professional can diagnose your child with a mental illness. Only a professional can treat mental illness and help your child cope with the disorders.
To find out if your kid has depression, let’s take a look at signs of depression in minors, the major warning signs to look out for, and a survivor’s story of what it was like to battle depression as a child.
Table of Contents
Signs of Depression in Minors
Symptoms of mental illness in adolescents and children vary. Just like how each child has their quirks and uniqueness, mental health battles will present themselves in different ways.
Conditions like depression often go undiagnosed and untreated because parents brush off the signs. You may think that your child is dealing with normal emotional and psychological changes when in fact, the issue is much more serious. What you may think of as teenage hormonal moodiness may be depression and self-harming ideation.
Many children will express depression as sadness or low moods just like adults with the condition. When it comes to young children, depression won’t necessarily present itself as angry outbursts like you may think.
The primary symptoms of depression revolve around sadness. Feelings of hopelessness, no purpose to life’s activities, and “numbness” are common.
Common signs of depression in children include…
Crankiness or anger
Continuous feelings of sadness and hopelessness
Withdrawing from social situations
Sensitive to rejection
Abnormal changes in appetite
This includes both increases and decreases in the volume of food intake
Changes in sleep
This includes sleeplessness or excessive sleep
Vocal outbursts
Crying
Trouble concentrating
Fatigue
Low energy
Physical complaints that don’t respond to treatment
This includes stomach aches and headaches that persist despite the medicine
Feelings of worthlessness
Feelings of guilt
Impaired thinking
Impaired concentration
Thoughts of death
Thoughts of self-harming
Thoughts of suicide
Your child won’t display all of these symptoms. Most children will show different symptoms at different times of the year, the month, or the day. They will also display various symptoms depending on the setting. If your child displays a cluster of the symptoms listed above in similar situations, that is when you should raise a red flag.
Depression Warning Signs in Children
Some things that should alarm you and raise a red flag include…
Clusters of depressive symptoms
Social isolation, including isolation from the family
Talk of suicide, hopelessness, or helplessness
Increased instances of acting out and undesirable behaviors
Increased risky behaviors
Frequent accidents
Substance abuse
Interest in the morbid and negative themes
Talk about death
Talk about dying
Increased crying spells or reduced emotional expression
Giving away possessions
If you believe your child is displaying signs of depression, you should talk with a therapist about your concerns. Discuss with a professional whether or not your concerns are, in fact, red flags. If they agree, bring your child to see a professional mental health expert to begin the healing process.
Even if you don’t seek out a professional’s guidance, we all need someone to talk to about our problems. Sometimes children aren’t comfortable talking to their parents about some of their issues. Regular appointments with a therapist are a good way to teach your child how to regulate their emotions and any negative thoughts or feelings.
In addition to a therapist, working through a Chartam mental health planner with your child is highly recommended. With this mental health tool, you can see how your child’s mood changes throughout the day. You and your child can work together to keep track of depression symptoms, like the ones I mentioned above. For more information, click here. If you would like to purchase one, please visit our shop.
A Survivor’s Story
I struggled with depression from the age of 11 to today (I am about to be 23). As a child with mental illness, there are many things that I did not want my parents to see. I didn’t want them to see my tears. I didn’t want them to know I had thoughts of death. So I hid my symptoms.
However, as a formal child with mental illness, there are some signs I would like to share with you that I wish the adults around me knew about when I was struggling.
Crying Spells
I don’t remember when it started, but at some point in time, it became normal to cry on the school bus. It became normal to break down as soon as I got home from high school and cry for at least a half hour.
Between the ages of 14 and 17, I was a high school student who felt alone. I dealt with bullying from other students and comments from teachers. So when I got home, I released all of those emotions by crying until I couldn’t anymore.
I don’t believe that my parents knew that I was crying so much. I felt ashamed that tears became normal in my life, so I didn’t show them that side of me. If they were home, I cried in my bedroom or the bathroom, pretending that I was doing something else like homework.
Most of the time, I cried when they weren’t home. High school ended around 2:30 and I would arrive home before 3:00. My parents wouldn’t come home from work until 4:30 at the earliest. That gave me an hour and a half to deal with my emotions by myself.
On bad days, the despair became too much. I was so depressed and feeling so much emotional pain that I couldn’t handle it.
When dealing with depression, you make many illogical conclusions. I thought that if I turned mental anguish into physical pain, it would be easier to manage my mental illness. Thus, I began to self-harm.
As you can see, my crying spells slowly evolved into more serious issues. If you notice your child has tear-stained cheeks or puffy eyes, please make a mental note. If my parents had asked me about my crying, I would lie and tell them no. Instead of asking your child questions, keep them occupied so they don’t have the time or the desire to shut themselves up in their space alone.
Hygiene Care
As a high school student, I would often feel drained and exhausted. Between the crying spells and the homework for my honors classes, I didn’t have the mental energy to take care of myself.
My long hair would often go up into a ponytail because I didn’t have the motivation to brush it or wash it. I would go days without showering because I didn’t have the energy to take one. Brushing my teeth fell to the wayside because I stayed in bed when I wasn’t working my summer job.
Depression made me feel like I had cement around my feet, making it hard to get out of bed and do the things I enjoyed. I managed to tackle my summer homework but I didn’t have the energy to take care of myself.
If my parents had known that my mental illnesses affected my hygiene, they could have seen the clues. They might have been able to notice that my hair was in a ponytail for 4-10 days straight. They might have been able to tell that I was not showering as often as I should have.
Looking back, I think it could have been different if my parents made gentle suggestions to push me to take care of myself. Maybe they would take the time to brush my hair while talking about weekend plans or how my day went. Maybe they could have told me I need to shower so they can shower next, giving me dedicated time to take care of myself.
By making things interactive and part of the family routine instead of a personal routine, you can prevent your child’s decline in hygiene caused by mental illness.
Food Consumption
I never had anorexia. But I did have trouble taking care of myself when it came to consistently eating my meals. This depression signal happened when I was living in a dorm while a freshman at university.
This was a time when I was 18 and living on my own for the first time. My medicines were not working well and I didn’t have a good way to realize that my quality of life was slowly deteriorating. My parent’s home was only 20 minutes away from my dormitory, but I still had difficulties communicating.
As I mentioned before, depression can feel like you have cement around your feet. You have no motivation or willpower to take care of your basic needs. In the dorms, this lack of motivation translated into not wanting to go outside to walk to the cafeteria.
As the months got colder and the weather worsened, my desire to leave my dorm to get food declined. Eventually, it got to the point where I was eating one, maybe two meals a day. The rest of the time I was eating snacks in my room. It is extremely unhealthy to have a diet mostly consisting of chips, Chex mix, and macaroni and cheese. Unfortunately, that was my reality for several weeks.
Again, my parents had no idea that my quality of life had deteriorated so much. I’m sure it would be a shock to them if they ever read this. If you learned that your child was barely eating two meals a day because of their mental illness, it would shock you too.
I suppose my only suggestion for parents who might have concerns about this symptom of mental illness is to use technology to their advantage. Maybe call or video chat with your college student during meal times so you know they are eating. Give them meals in Tupperware for their fridge. That way, if they don’t want to go outside in the snow to eat, you know they have meals in their room.
Conclusion
Does my kid have depression?
There is no easy answer to your question. If you think your child has depression, then there is a good chance they do have some mental health symptoms.
As a parent, trust your gut. Seek out professional help. Bring your child to see a therapist, a psychologist, or their primary care provider. They will either tell you that your child’s behavior is normal for their age or that you were right to have concerns.
Your goal as a parent is to keep your child safe and make sure they grow up to be happy, independent, and successful adults. Now that you have read this far into this blog post, you know what to look out for. You know the signs. Knowledge is the key to battling mental health.
