Depression VS Grief: Which one do I have?

Grieving is a universal human experience. There are about 13 million grieving people in the United States every year.

Because there are so many people who deal with these uncomfortable feelings after the loss of a loved one, it is not uncommon for people to question if they are actually grieving or simply depressed. 

Chances are that you used to be part of this statistic. You likely lost at least one person or pet in your life. When you lose someone, grief may manifest with sadness and hopelessness.

This is why some people might think grief and depression are similar. Some might associate the two together. But this isn’t always the case.

So what is the difference between depression vs grief? 

You see, grief and depression share similar symptoms. But each is a distinct experience. It is important to make the distinction between the two so you know how to treat and cope with your symptoms.

Although there is a significant amount of overlap between the two, they are different conditions. It is also important to understand the difference between normal grief and clinical depression so that you can get the right support for the symptoms you are experiencing. 

Let’s take a look at depression vs grief, how they are similar, and how they are different.

Table of Contents

What is Depression?

What is Grief?

Similarities between Depression VS Grief

Differences Between Depression VS Grief

Treatment

Conclusion

What is Depression?

Depression is a clinical condition. It can become deadly if left untreated.

A person needs to show a certain number and combination of symptoms in order to receive a diagnosis of depression from a medical professional. Such symptoms need to present themselves every day for at least two weeks.

What do these symptoms include? Some diagnostic criteria include the presence of…

  • low mood (sadness, hopelessness, irritability, or emptiness) almost all the time over a prolonged period of time

  • lack of interest in activities that you used to find enjoyable

  • changes in your sleep patterns (sleeping too much or too little)

  • changes in eating behaviors that may lead to weight gain or loss

  • changes in how you move or talk (slower or quicker)

  • fatigue and aches

  • a sense of worthlessness or guilt

  • difficulty concentrating

  • frequent thoughts about death or suicide

What is Grief?

Grief is the natural response to any loss. This includes physical, cognitive, emotional, behavioral, and spiritual responses.

The grieving process is different for each person. The symptoms are different too. However, they can include any of the following symptoms:

  • Change in appetite

  • Sleep disturbance

  • Fatigue/exhaustion

  • Tearfulness

  • Difficulty concentrating

  • Avoidance of people and situations

  • Suicidal thoughts or actions

  • Anger, sadness, loneliness

  • Feelings of hopelessness

  • Neglect of hygiene

  • Loss of interest in work or activities

  • Anger at self, deceased person, God

It is important to note that clinicians break down the grieving process into five distinct stages. The five stages of grief serve as a reference. It isn’t a rule on how to grieve. The five stages are…

  • denial and shock

  • intense sadness

  • anger

  • bargaining

  • acceptance

Similarities between Depression VS Grief

Grief and depression can look similar. They can feel similar in many ways. They share some symptoms, including…

  • Intense sadness

  • Insomnia

  • Poor appetite

  • Weight loss

For example, both grief and depression can cause deep feelings of sadness. They both have the potential to cause low mood. You might find yourself crying a lot or becoming irritable. You might experience a lot of emotional distress during grieving times or when experiencing depression.

One of the main things that grief and depression have in common is the phenomenon of emotional pain.

Both grief and depression also cause changes in appetite and sleeping patterns. You might find yourself not wanting to do much, having a hard time getting out of bed, or a lack of motivation to leave the house.

Angry outbursts are also something that can happen when someone experiences grief or depression. You may feel resentful about the loss you experienced. You might have a short temper when you live with depression.

In summary, low mood and the consequences of feeling down are some similarities between grief and depression.

Differences Between Depression VS Grief

Just because there are many similarities in the way grief and depression present themselves does not mean that they are the same thing.

It can be difficult to distinguish between depression and grief. The main difference is that depression has a tendency to last longer. The symptoms of depression may impact all aspects of life.

In contrast, grief is an emotional response that tends to decrease over time. It often does not require professional support. In comparison, depression lasts longer and the symptoms may intensify and linger without professional intervention.

Doctors classify grief as an intense emotional response. They classify depression as a formal mental health condition that requires a diagnosis and treatment.

The causes of both grief and depression are different.

Grief is directly linked to loss. Depression is sometimes linked to loss, but there are usually other factors too. For example, factors like genetics, life experiences, trauma, and environmental influences play a role.

Grief can come in waves, particularly after a few days go by. You might find yourself able to feel joy one day and feel completely helpless the next.

Depression may also manifest itself in waves. However, symptoms tend to be more persistent and intense. The symptoms also appear every day and linger for two or more weeks. When left untreated, symptoms often worsen and impact many aspects of your life.

To summarize, the symptoms of grief include…

  • Intense sadness

  • Difficulty accepting that whatever caused the grief occurred

  • Excessive focus on the episode of grief or avoidance of it altogether

  • Thoughts of "joining" the deceased

  • A sensation of hearing or seeing things related to the loss

In comparison, depressive symptoms include 

  • Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness

  • Feelings of guilt not related to grief

  • Morbid preoccupation with worthlessness

  • Sluggishness or hesitant and confused speech

  • Prolonged and marked difficulty in carrying out day-to-day activities

  • Thoughts of suicide

  • Hallucinations and delusions

Treatment

If you suffer from depression, grief, or both, there are treatment options. Of course, the treatment methods will vary based on a person’s unique circumstances. Make sure to consult with a doctor or mental health professional to discuss your options.

Psychotherapy is a treatment option available to you for both grief and depression. It can be beneficial to you when helping you process what you are feeling. It can teach you strategies that can help you cope.

Grief-specific cognitive behavioral therapy can help someone diagnosed with prolonged grief disorder. This therapy method uses similar techniques compared to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It uses similar tactics like reframing negative thoughts and learning healthy coping mechanisms. This type of therapy can also help you learn how to maintain a healthy attachment to your lost loved one.

It's important to note here that a 2005 study showed that grief treatments that resemble trauma therapy seem to promote an approximately 25% better response rate than typical interpersonal therapy.

Interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT) is a treatment method often used for depression. That said, it also has the potential for treating complicated grief as well. IPT focuses on resolving symptoms, building relationships, and getting involved in mood-boosting activities.

Complicated grief treatment (CGT) is a type of grief counseling. It combines components of both CBT and IPT. In CGT sessions, you may repeat the story of how you lost your loved one. You also set personal goals for yourself and your relationships.

Medication to help with symptoms is also an option in addition to therapy. Talk to your doctor about medication options as it pertains to your health.

Conclusion

Grief and depression may feel similar sometimes. However, grief is an emotional reaction to loss that often goes away on its own. Depression is a formal condition that requires treatment.

While both grief and depression may involve symptoms of low mood like sadness and hopelessness, depression usually lasts longer than 6 months and involves more complex symptoms.

Greif is also always linked to a significant loss. In contrast, causes of depression vary and may include a variety of factors like biology and genes, early experiences, and traumatic events.

Both grief and depression are manageable and relief is possible.

So where should you start with the recovery process?

Because both of these conditions involve emotions and changes in mood or behavior, it is important to track your mood. This way, you can visually see how your emotions evolve over time. This can also help your doctors understand which condition you are experiencing.

A good place to start doing this tracking is with a mental health tool we specifically designed for people like you. By using a Chartam planner, you can track your emotions and other symptoms related to grief or depression.

So where do you get this tool?

The easiest way to get started with tracking your symptoms and fostering better communication with your doctors and mental health professionals is to click here.

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